Futility

Once upon a time, there were three apples.
Jeremy had bought them at the store and had brought them home.
After placing the apples on the counter, Jeremy smiled and said, “I’m going to eat you tomorrow.”
Then Jeremy laughed and went to bed.

The three apples were frightened.
Said the first apple, “Jeremy’s going to eat us tomorrow! We’re all going to die.”
The second apple said, “Don’t worry, he can’t eat all of us.”
Then the third apple said, “But he’ll eat one of us.”
The first apple said, “We should escape.”
Then there was silence.

In the morning, Jeremy woke up and smelled the fresh air.
He hummed while he brushed his teeth, and sang in the shower.
The apples were waiting as he approached them.

“Hello Apples!” said Jeremy.
“Hello Jeremy,” said the apples.
“We’ve decided,” said the first apple, “that you may eat me first.”
“Okay,” said Jeremy, and he ate the first apple.

The other apples were horrified.
Jeremy went to college.
“He was the best apple an apple could know,” said the second apple.
“He’ll never be an apple tree now,” said the third apple.
“We should escape,” said the second apple.
Then there was silence.

When Jeremy came back, the two remaining apples were still on the counter.
He whistled as he walked, and gave a little hop, skip, and jump every now and then.

“You can eat me next,” said the third apple.
“Nah,” said Jeremy, “I’ll eat this one instead,” and he ate the second apple.
“Why did you do that?” the third apple asked, “She wanted to be an apple tree with deep, strong roots, with branches big and sturdy, with leaves that would shine in the sunlight. The song of the wind would wrap around her, and the birds of the air would sing with delight.”
Jeremy shrugged and went to sleep.

“I am the last apple,” said the third apple.
Then there was silence.

When Jeremy woke up the next morning, the third apple asked, “Are you going to eat me now?”
“Yes,” said Jeremy, and he picked up the third apple.
“Why?” asked the third apple, “Why do you have to eat me?”
“Because you are just an apple,” said Jeremy, and he ate the third apple.
Then there was silence, as there was no one left to remember the third apple.